Just a Dream
by QueenOfLucifenia
Summary: Ciel Phantomhive has been troubled with what appear to be stress related fainting and nightmares that take him to Victorian times, where he is a different Ciel Phantomhive that has experienced more pain and torture than Ciel has in his entire life. Struggling with the nightmares, Ciel learns that eventually he must choose between a life of bliss or a life of vengance. Modern AU
1. Chapter 1: Awakening

The boy gasped as his eyes flew open. He was terrified. Something bad had happened…and yet there was nothing. Above him was no more than a small, white ceiling fan hypnotically rotating on top of a creamy white ceiling. It took him a moment to recall where he was; the school infirmary. He lifted himself up from the uncomfortable cot and tried to regain his senses.

Other than a bit of light-headed and dizziness typical from waking suddenly, he felt nothing wrong. And yet he had this unsettling feeling in his stomach. "Ciel!" A voice called from behind the curtains separating the separate cots. Suddenly a girl with bright blond hair neatly curled into pigtails and a school uniform over-accessorized with cute pins and iron-on patches ran over to his bedside. "A-are you okay?"

Ciel blinked for a moment. He knew the girl; she was his cousin, one of his closest friends since he was a child. And yet he couldn't remember her name…

"Oh god, you don't have amnesia do you?" She exclaimed with concern, putting her hand onto his forehead. "Can you talk? Did you damage your brain? Are you sick?"

The boy opened his mouth to reply, when a woman with short, spikey brown hair and thick glasses in business attire approached them. "Miss Midford? Aren't you supposed to be in class?" The woman began to approach the two, but suddenly there was a snapping noise and she fell to the ground. "A-ack! My heel broke again!" She panicked, scrambling to her feel and trying to gain a composed look. "I-I'm sorry!" She nodded a quick apology.

"Mister Faustes said that I could come make sure he was okay," The girl, apparently named Lizzie, replied nervously. Ciel couldn't tell if she was lying or if she was just stunned by the nurse's clumsiness.

The adult sighed and straightened her glasses, which Ciel noticed had been cracked from her previous fall. "Ciel seems to be alright. If anything, his fainting was probably stress related."

"Fainting?" Ciel echoed. Both of the heads turned to him.

"Don't you remember what happened?" Lizzie cried, obviously still worried that he had some kind of injury or illness. Ciel thought for a moment, realizing that it was quite obvious that he had either hurt himself and/or fell unconscious in order to have woken up in the infirmary.

"I-I…um…" He stammered for a decent reply. Lizzie cocked her head in unease, as it was uncharacteristic for the boy to be this flustered. "I guess I remember some…a little…"

Lizzie gave a sigh of relief, and the nurse spoke up again, "We've contacted your parents, they'll be arriving momentarily to pick you up, yes."

_Parents? _Ciel's eyes widened, but he made sure not to speak up just in case he'd worry Lizzie even more. He could remember their faces, his dad's mole, the way he'd ruffle up his hair whenever he was proud of him, his mother's eyes, their names, and their dog Sebastian…and yet those all seemed like sometime out of a dream, or a memory that had been pushed to the back of his mind.

"A-ah…thank you," Lizzie noticed that Ciel wasn't talking and spoke up in his place. As the nurse hastily walked away in order to fix her heel, she turned back to her cousin. "Are you alright?"

Ciel nodded, "I'm fine." He replied. "I'm just…tired…" He lifted his hand to the right side of his face, and suddenly felt a small gap he wasn't used to. He extended his fingertips and touched his right eyelid, and found that he could see out of it. It seemed like something was missing…

Lizzie noticed this gesture, "Are you sure? You seem sorta…dazed?"

The boy sighed, "I'm okay. Really. I just had a…weird dream."

* * *

"Ciel, sweety, this isn't the first time that this has happened," His mother brought up as the boy played with his dinner. He didn't have an appetite after what had happened, "And didn't you tell Lizzie you had a weird dream? Does that happen every time?"

He regretted sharing that information with his cousin, but hadn't really been prepared for his parents to be this concerned about him. _But that's normal, right? Parents are supposed to care about their kids. _He reminded himself of the fact. It just seemed like he wasn't used to having people care for him. "Yes." Ciel replied, not wanting to share too much.

The dream had faded to the corners of his memories now. He recalled it being realistic, like he was actually experiencing it, and tragic. Something that made him want to simply curl up and cry, although he found that he was quite well-practiced at holding it back.

"I don't remember any of it though," Ciel said, making sure his parents wouldn't question him about it.

"Was it a nightmare?" His father asked. Ciel just shrugged and continued cutting his meatloaf into tiny pieces and letting them sit in the juice leaked from the meat and sog up.

"This is bad; this could be some kind of illness…" The woman turned to the father, "Should I ask Angelina about this? She could recommend us a certain kind of treatment."

"You're overreacting. The nurse said that it was stress related," The man, Vincent Phantomhive, said to his wife. He was the CEO and creator of the Funtom toy company, which would one day be passed down to Ciel. Ciel hadn't really thought about the pressure of having to receive ownership of such a large responsibility, but right now he was beginning to realize how difficult it may be to uphold the expectations given to him.

"Even if it was stress related, we could at least get him some help. It's affecting his school work, for god's sake!"

"Help? For his stress? Rachel I am _not _taking our son to a _shrink_!" His father declared.

"Ciel, go do your homework," His mother said almost emotionlessly, preparing to fight with her husband. Of course, she always won these kind of petty arguments. Ciel nodded and trudged up the stairs back into his room.

He opened his closet door and got out the large, baggy graphic tee with some band's name on it that once belonged to his father and stripped out of his school uniform and into the shirt and a pair of boxers. He lazily took his backpack, which was sitting on his bed, and plopped it in front of his desk, turned on his lamp, and took out his history book and a packet of questions. Luckily, since he had missed most of the classes during the day, the only other homework he had was finishing up the assigned chapters in 'Lord of the Flies', which he had already completed.

After scribbling answers to questions on the Roman Empire, Ciel found his eyelids growing heavier and heavier. After finally completing the required pages in the packet, he turned off the light and crawled into his bed sheets. Why was he so tired? He'd already slept an hour in the middle of the day, not to mention he spent the rest of his day relaxing at home.

Before he could even think about whether or not he wanted to be sent to a therapist, he had already dozed off.

* * *

The boy wiped the crust off of his eyes from sleep as he heaved himself from his bed. It was still dark outside, but he was finding it impossible to sleep. He stepped out of his bed and to the exit of the room, but suddenly he heard the noise of glass smashing and voices yelling and froze.

He knew what would happen, but at the same time it was all a surprise to him. He dashed out of his room in panic, searching for his mother and father. If his mother and father were there he'd be alright. They care about him. They love him.

But just as he was about to reach their bedroom, there was a sudden explosion and he was pushed back. When he finally stumbled to his feet, everything was in flames. "Mother!" He shrieked, as he ran away from the bright yellow and crimson fire that swallowed the manor. "Father!" As he dashed even faster, trying to find an escape from the smokey maze, he saw it. In his father's study, a single body of a man slowly being eaten by dark gold flames. "Father! Father!" He called out to the body, but it didn't move. Just as he began to run to the corpse, a hand grabbed his arm and pulled him back. He turned around and saw two dark figures with malicious smiles.

"N-No…" He whimpered as they stripped him of his clothes and stabbed him with a burning stamp in order to imprint their mark on him. "No…" They placed him on top of the table, preparing to sacrifice him to their god.

Their god…was their god the true god? The god that was going to let this boy die in front of His very eyes? Or was it the god that he had been taught of by his mother's gentle teachings?

Suddenly his cries ceased and he forced a grin, "There is no god." He laughed, and just as he finished speaking the world was painted in black.

* * *

"Young master?" The voice echoed through the room. Ciel opened his eyes to see a figure standing in beside his bed.

"W-what do you want? Who are you?" He stammered, still quivering from his nightmare.

"My, my. It's already been two months and yet you still are haunted by nightmares. Humans are quite pitiable creatures indeed." The man sighed and crossed his arms. "Are you to cower in fear all night, young master?"

The boy suddenly realized the situation he was in, and scolded himself for being so weak in front of his butler. "Shut it, Sebastian, doesn't a butler know not to insult his master?"

"My apologies," The man replied quickly, as if he had realized his mistake. "You see, I am simply one _hell _of a butler."

* * *

Ciel awoke with a jolt, just to realize it was simply his alarm clock ringing. He slowly sat up and turned off the clock, before stretching and slipping off of his bed. The dream had left him with the same feeling as the one that had occurred when he had fallen unconscious at school. But now all he remembered were the burning flames, the pain, and the humiliation. It all seemed so real, though, like he had experienced it before.

After dressing in his school uniform he headed downstairs for breakfast, where he encountered his mother speaking to his aunt on the phone.

"Aw, thank you so much Angelina! Are you sure he's the best?"

Ciel realized that they were talking about his therapist. His father had obviously lost the battle last night.

"Thanks again! How's Ron going for you by the way? No way, seriously? See, this is why you shouldn't just hook up with random men you meet at clubs. And you're a doctor for god's sake, you should at least find someone that has a _sign _of human intelligence," She continued on speaking about his aunt's failing love life and Ciel got tired of listening so he simply made himself breakfast and was prepared to leave, but his mom stopped him.

"Wait, Ciel, after school today Aunt Angelina is going to take you and Lizzie to the hospital, okay?"

"Why Lizzie?" Ciel questioned.

"Apparently Aunt Frances has business to do and Edward has a soccer tournament so she doesn't have anyone to take her home," The blond woman explained before putting the phone back to her ear. "Ah, yeah, that was Ciel leaving. I hope this Michaelis guy is as good as you say he is."

* * *

**A/N:**

**Hello people that have taken time out of their day to read this story! How are you?**

**Good?**

**Good.**

**Welcome to my inception story! Um, so, for once I'm not completely making stuff up as I go along so I'm hoping there won't be that many plotholes at the end. I won't be updating every single day, but probably more than once a week or whatever. It takes me a while to write these things so :3**

**There are going to be around fourteen chapters and, while I tried to incorporate all the characters I could, I couldn't. Claude is going to be in there as the total jerkface he is, but I sorta totally left out Alois's relationship with him. So if you like ClaudexAlois I'm sorry! (who the fuck likes Claude x Alois?) Sebastian (obviously) is going to be in there, Alois is, and I'm thinking about putting Hannah in there somewhere. Idk. **

**Um, so, if you have any advice on what I should do from here, tell me! I'd be glad to put in a couple of filler chapters to make it longer if you'd like. Especially because I sorta like the friendships that I'm making in the story. **

**Um, so, if you like it that favorite/follow it! If you like me then favorite/follow me! If your looking for yaoi then don't do any of that (yes, I'm adding sexual tension and a bit of fanservice. No, I'm not adding sex)**

**Bye bye~**


	2. Chapter 2: Dreaming

"Are you sure it's okay for you to come to school so soon?" The short-haired ginger girl asked. As oppose to wearing the typical skirt and polo that was required in the girl's uniform, she wore khaki pants and the school-assigned sweater vest that were distributed to boys. With her short hair swept over her left eye and her attire (not to mention her flat chest), it was easy to mistake her for a boy.

"I don't have a brain tumor or anything," Ciel replied monotonously, "It was just stress-related."

"Are you de-stressed then?" She asked.

Before he could even come up with a witty reply, another person intruded on their conversation, "Ciel, I hear that you're going to see a shrink, right?"

Ciel looked up from his desk and saw the familiar blond boy with curly hair that was almost longer than the girl sitting next to Ciel. Apparently he was some kind of god to most of the girl's in the grade, although Ciel didn't understand why at all. "Maurice Cole," He mumbled under his breath, addressing the boy.

"Yep, that's me. But is it true?" Maurice had an almost cheerful tone, although Ciel could hear the mocking in his words.

"Well, fainting in the middle of the day isn't exactly healthy, so yes I'm getting medical help." Ciel said in reply, trying to avoid the term 'shrink' or even 'therapist' for that matter.

"Well, then, I hope you get better," The boy obviously didn't have any comeback for Ciel's matter-of-factly response so he quickly left before he got into an argument. He seemed so fake but even so, the girls fell head-over-heels for him.

Before anymore conversation could take place, the bell signaling the beginning of class rung and the Literature Teacher entered the room. He was tall with dark brown hair slicked back along with black-rimmed spectacles which gave a more professional look. "Get out your books," He stated with a burnt-out expression as classes began.

* * *

Not after too long, the day was finally over and Ciel greeted Lizzie at the gates of the school. Since their average grades were too different, Ciel's being higher than his cousin's, they only had around one or two classes together a week so this was the first time all day they'd seen each other.

"Are you doing okay?" Lizzie asked.

"Like I told you before, I'm completely fine." Ciel grumbled in reply. "Is Aunt Angelina going to be late?"

"Well, she's never on time." Lizzie giggled. Then she gasped a little, like she was realizing something, and then opened up her bag in search of something. "Ah! Here it is!" She took out a small key-chain with a little, grey bunny in a small bowtie with an eyepatch over its right eye. "See! Isn't it just adorable?"

"It's a little morbid…" Ciel murmured as he observed the keychain. "I thought you liked pinker things." He said to his cousin.

"I do, but at the store I usually get my jewelry I found this! I thought it would fit you." She pointed to it and laughed, "See? It's goth too!"

"I'm not goth." Ciel replied, ignoring her comment as he continued to look at the bunny. It seemed familiar. "Bitter Rabbit." He whispered.

"What was that?" She asked, picking the keychain up from his hand.

"It's called the Bitter Rabbit, isn't it? Funtom makes those." Ciel explained. Lizzie paused for a minute, looking at the charm.

"Oh, and I thought I got you something special! The lady at the store said that they stopped producing them back in the 90s…" Lizzie sighed. "But how do you know that? You said that you didn't like the whole business stuff."

Ciel thought for a moment. How did he know that? He had never seen the rabbit before, and whenever his father talked to him about business he would either tune him out or change the subject. "I don't know," He said, "Maybe I had one when I was little?"

"Hmm…I don't remember anything like that…" Lizzie held it up towards the sun, observing the figure, but before anymore dialogue could be exchanged a bright red Ferrari pulled up in front of the two. The front window rolled down to reveal a young woman with bright red hair in a white labcoat.

"Sorry for being late, kids!" Angelina apologized. Ciel opened the backdoor and let Lizzie enter before he stepped in as well.

The car's inside was just as well-kept as the outer layer. Probably due to the fact that his aunt Angelina didn't have any kids. She played modern music on the radio as she drove the two teens to the hospital in which she worked. It was around a mile away, so the drive barely took three minutes, but it was much more comforting than having to walk all the way over.

Since she was employed there, they got specialty parking and it only took a few moments for them to enter the building. "Welcome to Trancy Hospital," Aunt Angelina smiled as the two stepped inside. After a couple minutes of paperwork and discussion between doctors, Aunt Angelina instructed Lizzie to wait in the lobby and began to lead Ciel through the hallways.

The halls were surprisingly calm, but the dim lighting and the shining tile ground gave off an almost creepy atmosphere. A few twists and turns later, Angelina opened the door and Ciel entered a cozy-looking room with a couple sofa's, a small TV, and an old-fashioned rug. "It'll last around an hour and a half or so, since this is your first time. I'll pick you up then." She shut the door and Ciel heard her footsteps tap away.

The room was well-furnished, but it was almost a bit small. Ciel awkwardly sat himself down on one of the comfier looking sofas and patiently awaiting his therapist. He wasn't really sure what would happen. He didn't think he needed therapy, but he wasn't going to complain against his mom after she had argued that much with his dad. What was the doctor's name again? Doctor Michaelis? That sounded strangely familiar. Ciel was starting to get sick of the almost de ja vu feelings he got when he heard or saw certain things. Maybe they were connected to his fainting.

Before he could finish thinking it through, the door was opened again and a tall man in jeans, a shirt, and a tie entered the room holding a clipboard. He looked like he was around the same height as Mr. Faustus was but with darker hair, a more narrow face and prominent cheek bones, along with brown eyes that seemed to have an orange-ish red tint to them.

"Hello, are you Ciel…Phantomhive?" He paused at the last name. It was queer one, Ciel admitted.

"Yes sir." He replied.

"Good. I'm your therapist, Doctor Michaelis. But you can call me Sebastian," The man seated himself on the chair in front of Ciel.

_Huh. That's my dog's name_. Ciel chuckled to himself. Even so, he still didn't like the situation.

"Your aunt told me you've been having nightmares and stress induced dizzy spells and syncope." _Syncope?_ Ciel wondered, but didn't speak up. "It means fainting." _Well. That was creepy._

"Yes." Ciel replied.

"Well, how about you start out by introducing yourself to me." The therapist said calmly.

"I'm Ciel." He replied. There was an awkward silence. "I'm twelve, live in this city, and my aunt happened to be a doctor so I somehow ended up here."

Doctor Michaelis, or rather, Sebastian, chuckled at his comment. "I see you aren't exactly too enthusiastic about this."

_Who'd be enthusiastic about therapy?_ Ciel commented in his mind. "No sir." He replied.

"Well, since you aren't too good about talking about yourself, how about we skip the initiation part and get right onto your problem."

"Yes sir."

Sebastian put down his clipboard, "So, Ciel, do you think you can explain your dreams? The one's you have when you faint."

Ciel thought for a moment, trying to recollect his memories. "I don't remember that much."

"Were they nightmares?"

"I'm not sure."

"What did you feel in your dreams?"

Ciel paused again, "I don't remember…" He hesitated for a second. "Probably fear."

"Why so?"

Ciel disliked having so many questions asked. "I can't remember. I just was scared."

"Of course," Sebastian nodded, as if to tell Ciel that he was doing well. "And are there any reoccurring themes within your dreams?"

"Fire." Ciel answered almost too quickly. "And…I guess waking up…but not waking up."

"You mean like awakening in your dream?"

"Yes sir." Ciel replied.

"How long have you had these nightmares?"

"I don't remember."

This continued on for a while. Most questions Ciel simply couldn't since most of his dreams were already forgotten. Some of them he chose to pretend not to know the answer to, and the other's he was as brief and unspecific as he could. It was boring, but Ciel wondered what Sebastian was getting out of asking all of these questions.

After what seemed like hours, Sebastian finally picked up his clipboard again and stood up, "It seems that I've required all for today. We might have finished a bit early since we skipped the beginning, I hope you got some things off of your chest."

_I didn't._ Ciel mentally replied. But out loud he only said, "Yes sir."

The psychiatrist opened the door for the boy and the two exited together. The man walked him through the same white hallways he had gone through to get to the room. Ciel hadn't noticed it before, but Sebastian was quite tall. And that Ciel was quite short. It was almost intimidating to walk beside him.

They arrived in the lobby where Lizzie was busy playing some kind of game on her pink iPhone, but when she saw Ciel she quickly hopped up, but didn't approach them when she saw the therapist. Sebastian looked around and then back at Ciel, "I'll have your papers delivered to Miss Barnett later today, she'll be able to get them to your family, I presume?"

"Yes sir."

"Well then, it's been a pleasure to meet you," Sebastian nodded a goodbye as he returned down the dimly lit corridor in which they came. Ciel gave a sigh of relief before walking over to his cousin.

"So, how was it?" Lizzie asked, putting her phone back into her bag.

"How do you think it was?" Ciel replied sarcastically as he collapsed onto the seat. "I have to do this every other day now…" He complained.

"Well…" Lizzie didn't have anything to say to comfort him.

"Oi! You." A voice called out. Ciel looked around but didn't see anyone. "Mr. School uniform and your girlfriend." As if appearing out of nowhere, a blond boy stepped in front of Ciel. "Ah, just as I thought, private schoolers."

"Sorry?" Ciel stood up.

"Ha, what a shortie." The blond teased. He had a pale complexion and crystal blue eyes. He was wearing a green t-shirt with a purple hoodie and disturbingly short shorts that were probably purchased in the woman's section. "I'm Alois Trancy, nice to meet you, therapy boy."

* * *

**A/N: **

**Hello people! Thanks for not hating this story!**

**So Sebas~chan is in it! Woohoo! He's pretty important. **

**So for BrokenWings66, the person who reviewed this story (thank you so much!), I wanted to say that you just about saw through most of the plot that I was already planning to do *^_^ **

**I was inspired to do this from a Buffy episode called 'Normal Again' and a Kuro Doujinshi I read a while back called "The Perfect World" If you have seen those you'll probably know how this stories gonna end.**

**The reason some of the characters may seem a bit OOC are because they aren't in the same environment as the anime/manga takes place. It isn't required for women to be ladylike, men don't _have _to be gentlemanly. Elizabeth acts different because she never had to deal with having to pretend to be weak in front of Ciel. Sure, she likes cute things, but in this society she doesn't have to be the "perfect" woman like in Victorian times.**

**Thanks for reading! Please follow/favorite if you like it and review so I can see what I'm doing wrong (there has to be something xP)**


	3. Chapter 3: A Trance

"I'm Alois Trancy, nice to meet you, therapy boy," The boy extended his hand for a shake, but Ciel just glared at it until he put it away. "Sorry, sorry, didn't mean to offend." Alois put both his hands in the air as if confessing to a crime. "My dad owns this place. At least he would. If he wasn't six feet in the ground."

Well, that's a pleasant introduction. "My condolences. Now can you get lost?" Ciel knew that it was better not to deal with these kind of people.

"Oh, don't mind me; I'm not the type of person that complains about everything. Unlike the kid who pays someone to listen to him." The blond smirked. "What's wrong, then? Were you whining about how nobody understands you? How your life sucks?"

"I'm not depressed or anything," Ciel corrected, glaring at the other boy.

"Because you look like just a _bundle_ of sunshine, don't you?" He snickered sarcastically.

"Seriously, man, go away." Ciel growled, getting frustrated with Alois's attitude.

"What? So you can have some alone time with your GF? Sorry kid, this is a hospital, not some love hotel." The blonde laughed.

"You…" Ciel took a step forward in order to get a good blow on the boy, but before anything could happen Lizzie quickly pushed Ciel back.

"Ciel!" She exclaimed. Ciel walked to her side, regaining his composure.

"If your family owns the hospital, I doubt they'd want their son messing with their patients. Parents are especially protective of little kids." The boy said.

"Hmph, is that your go on a witty comeback?" Alois snorted. "But seriously, how'd a shrimp like you score a chick like this?" Alois extended his hand and to wrap it around her hip, but before he even could Lizzie kicked him in the shin. As he tripped onto the ground, Ciel was prepared to hit him, but Lizzie grabbed his hand and tugged him away before the two could fight.

After the two had exited through the hospital's spinning doors, Lizzie let out a sigh of relief. "He scared me…" She said.

"No kidding," Ciel muttered, looking through the window as the boy inside cackled to himself and then walked away. Maybe he was one of the mental ward patients that had escaped?

"I wonder if Aunt Angelina knows where to look for us…" Lizzie murmured. Ciel shrugged and then leaned against the brick wall of the building as the two waited together.

* * *

Another day passed since the session and Ciel was feeling particularly bored. He hadn't fainted for a couple days, but it's been coming into his notice that he was sleeping a lot. Maybe if he continued to sleep as much as he did, there would be less fainting. But even without it, he still was often struck by dizzy spells in the middle of school where he'd forget where he was and sometimes even forget the names of the people around him. It only lasted for a moment though, and Ciel never really brought it up as it was much less of an inconvenience as fainting.

But at night his dreams were still just as terrifying, and now he was beginning to remember them more in detail. He knew that they took place in some mansion, and that his parents were killed by fire. And that whenever he woke up from his nightmare while still in his dream, his butler would be there. Although he couldn't quite recall the butler's name…

Not just that, but he noticed there was something off about the butler. When he was dreaming, he knew what it was and was comfortable with it, but when he was in real life it was always bugging him since he just couldn't remember what it was.

After yet another long day of Maurice's sugar-coated bullying and the ginger girl's (her name was Doll) constant pestering, he found himself in the hospital again. Aunt Angelina lead him down the already familiar hallway and into the familiar room where he sat himself down like he did previously and waited for Sebastian's arrival.

The therapist entered the room and sat down before beginning to speak again. He started out by describing what he had analyzed from the previous batch of questions and began to ask some more related ones, such as "Do you have any memorable experiences involving fire?" or "Do you often find yourself confused in your dreams?"

It wasn't until he was done with around ten questions did he finally ask "Do you remember your dreams any better?"

Ciel was hesitant to answer, as he preferred not to reveal that much of his personal information to the man, but he still spoke. "A bit."

There was a pause, as if Sebastian expected him to continue on.

"There's always a man when I wake up." Ciel explained.

"Is that all?" Sebastian inquired.

"Yes sir."

"Well, what does the man look like?"

Ciel paused, "I can't really see him that well. But he said something to me."

"And what was that?"

"I don't remember."

Ciel was interested to see if there would be any tone of frustration in the therapist, but the remained calm. It was almost annoying.

"But, I think in the fire…I lost something." Ciel said. Sebastian seemed a bit surprised at the boy for speaking up.

"Are you afraid of fires?"

Ciel hesitantly replied, "I wasn't before…"

* * *

"I think we may have gone a bit over our time schedule, but we made progress today," Sebastian rised from his seat and the boy followed him. The man's optimism was a bit agitating, as Ciel had tried badly not to reveal too much. "Before we go, I'd like to recommend a _dream journal_ in order to improve your memories of the dream. It is easier to remember dreams the first ten minutes after they occur."

_Dream journal? Isn't that the stuff for those gypsies that pretend they can tell your future? _Ciel nodded, "Yes sir." _No way I'm getting one_.

"Very well," Sebastian nodded and opened the door to the hallway, letting Ciel out first, and then closing it. The two walked side by side again back to the lobby.

When they returned, to Ciel's surprise, Aunt Angelina was already patiently awaiting them. Sebastian approached the redhead and the two joked a bit before he got serious and they began discussing Ciel's treatment.

_Well then. Dream journal it is…_Ciel grumbled in his mind.

"Hey, Ciel!" A voice called from outside the building. Ciel turned around and saw Lizzie in her school uniform with her hair tied in a ponytail rather than her normal twin tails waving to him. He looked towards Aunt Angelina, who was still busy discussing matters with Sebastian, before heading outside to greet her.

"Hey, what are you doing here?" He asked.

Lizzie chuckled, "Track Practice ended early today so I figured I'd come see you."

"How long did you walk to get here?" Ciel questioned, knowing that the school was a good mile away.

"Not too long, it was practice for track team!" She said happily. Everyone in school knew Elizabeth Midford as the track and fencing champion. She was much more athletically able that Ciel would ever be. "How was therapy?"

"Good." Ciel said. The two stood there awkwardly for a moment, but it ended when Aunt Angelina exited the building.

"Oh, Ciel, there you are! We're headed to the bookstore. Sebastian said that you probably were going to ignore his instructions to get a dream journal, so now I'm in charge." She put her hands on her hips as if she was scolding a little child. "Lizzie?" She noticed the blonde's presence.

"A-ah, yes, I was just stopping by." Lizzie turned to Ciel, her eyes gleaming, "But take me to the bookstore too! I heard that there's the _adorable_ little café right beside it that has some of those cute little cream-sandwiches in a lot of different colors! I wonder if they have pink…"

"You mean macaroons?" Ciel grumbled.

"Oh? That's what their called? I thought they looked like those pretty patties from Spongebob!" Lizzie giggled.

"Well…that too…" The boy sighed. How on earth did Sebastian know he was lying? And what else did the man see through? Well, he did study psychiatry, he probably could tell when a person was being serious or not. Even so, this didn't make Ciel feel any more comfortable with the whole therapy idea.

"Into my car," Angelina instructed to the two teens, who both followed her orders and climbed into the back seat.

The drive took around five minutes, but Ciel noticed that the bookstore was relatively close to where Lizzie lived so it was convenient that she had tagged along as well.

The street was rather crowded, so Angelina dropped the two off in front of the line of shops and told them she was going to find a place to park. The bookstore wasn't that small, but the shelves of new books that were scattered around the store gave the place a quaint feel.

The two went to the area by the cash register which held most of the sketchbooks and folders in search of a decent notebook. Lizzie found a few, but most of them were girly and had cute bunnies or Hello Kitty on them. In the end Ciel ended up with a black book with the words 'Notes' written on the top. Lizzie complained about it being bland, but they ended up purchasing it anyways.

The two exited the building, but Aunt Angelina was nowhere to be found. "How can you be late to something as simple as this?" Ciel grumbled. Then he noticed a new building a couple shops down. "Hey, isn't that the café you wanted to go to?"

Lizzie turned and literally jumped for joy, "Ah! Yes! We can get those Macaronis!"

"Macaroons…" Ciel corrected, but the girl wasn't listening. Just as the two began to make their way over, a voice cut through.

"Hey," They turned around to find the same blond they encountered yesterday. This time wearing black sports shorts that covered a bit more skin and an orange t-shirt with 'Dingoes ate my Baby' printed on the front.

"What do you want?" Ciel demanded, making sure he didn't do anything vulgar to Lizzie.

"Oh, nothing much, just thought maybe I could treat you to macaroons." Ciel couldn't tell if he was being sarcastic or not.

"Back off." The shorter boy said.

"Calm down. I'm sorry, kay? I know you guys are cousins and I totally grossed you out," Alois looked towards Lizzie for a moment, but then immediately continued his apology. "No need to be so childish about it."

"Oh, so _we're _the childish ones here?" Ciel retorted.

"Well, _you're _the one stubbornly continuing the argument even though I already apologized," Alois smirked. His personality seemed different now, much more polite, but with his previous attitude there was no way Ciel could take him seriously when he talked like that. "Besides, I'm offering to treat you. It's rude to refuse."

Ciel scanned the boy's expression, seeing if he was being serious or not. "No." The smaller boy replied. "Leave us alone." He grabbed Lizzie's hand and instead of walking towards the café they made their way to the nearby parking lot where Aunt Angelina had most likely parked the car.

"Aw, fuck you!" Alois yelled angrily, "And your little bitch too!"

Ciel didn't turn around and the two finally made it to the car where Angelina was busy tuning the radio. That boy was just a bipolar freak. Why did he keep on following around Lizzie and Ciel? Was he some kind of stalker?

_Just a creep_, Ciel concluded as he got Angelina's attention and opened the door for Lizzie to enter. _An insane idiot. _

* * *

**A/N:**

**Sorry for the wait! I was actually at Otakon! I was in a Matryoshka Ciel cosplay for the first day and a Mikasa Ackerman for the second, so if you saw me there PM me or something :) **

**So Alois is bipolar (like you needed that reminded to you) and Lizzie is a badass.**

**I'd love your suggestions on any filler chapters you would enjoy reading, as I'm willing to stretch this story out as long as need be. I wrote this a few days ago and haven't read it since, so if you see any mistakes feel free to tell me :D **

**Follow/Favorite if you don't hate it, ignore it if you do!**

**Thanks for reading**


	4. Chapter 4: REM (Rapid Eye Movement)

It had been about a week and a half since Ciel had begun his therapy. Although throughout the past eleven days he had only completed fallen unconscious twice, neither of which occurring in public, he felt that his nightmares were worsening. Or maybe he was just remembering them more.

Sebastian had asked to look at his dream journal every time, so Ciel ended up having to actually write in it. At first he was hesitant and only wrote little details that he was willing to share, but after a couple nights he felt like he actually wanted to remember some of the dreams and begun writing down more.

It always began with the fire in the mansion, and seeing his father's corpse. But after that it was different almost every time. Sometimes he was taken to the sacrificial table and gave up his faith causing the dream to end, and sometimes he finds himself covered in bandages and bruises, looking at the remains of his lost home, beside him standing his faithful butler. Even once he was sure he encountered Lizzie in one of the dreams, but when he awoke he couldn't recall if that was true or not.

Sebastian had diagnosed him with something that confirmed that his fainting was not stress based but could be triggered by stress. He didn't bother to listen for that.

Then, one Monday after a long, tedious weekend, something strange happened.

"This is our new transfer student, Jim Macken." Mr. Faustus introduced to the class as a blond boy entered the room. He was wearing the assigned sweater-vest and required collared shirt, but instead of long pants he wore shorts that barely passed dress code and black socks that reached his thigh. Ciel recognized him immediately as Alois Trancy.

'Jim' said an introduction to the class and cracked a couple of jokes that made the room reverberate with chuckles and gentle laughter, nothing out of the ordinary. Ciel observed the boy throughout class. He seemed uninterested in the lesson, occasionally looking down to his notebook to doodle something, but there was absolutely nothing strange about him (other than his disturbingly short shorts).

After class was let out and 'Jim' exited the room, Ciel waited a few moments before following him. The halls were empty, as most of the students preferred to spend their free period outside or in the classroom with their friends. "Is this some kind of sick joke?" Ciel confronted the boy.

"Oh, it's you." Jim said unenthusiastically.

"Yes, it's me. And you, Alois Trancy?" Ciel said through gritted teeth. "Why did you transfer to me and Lizzie's school?"

"Oh, that bitch is here to?" Alois chuckled, "Who'd have known?"

"Oi." Ciel grabbed onto the taller boy's wrist and pushed him to the wall. "You lay a single finger on her and I will _kill _you."

Alois smirked, as if he'd been awaiting this moment for a long time. "Oh? You think you can kill _me_?" The blonde knocked the black-haired boy's hand from his wrist. "You're wrong, therapy boy. I bet you haven't ever killed a man before. Don't know what it's like."

"Oh, and I suppose you have?" Ciel growled, annoyed that the brat had been able to push him off so easily.

Alois Trancy, or for now 'Jim Macken', shrugged, "Maybe I have, maybe I haven't. Do you wanna find out?" The boy looked to Ciel with a look of lunacy glittering in his eyes, a glare that made Ciel shiver. After he caught Ciel's reaction, Alois simply cackled and then began to walk away.

"Hey, why the fake name?" Ciel asked.

"It's more boring, sorta fits this kind of school, right?" Alois called back as he hopped away.

Ciel stood in the hallway for a moment, and cursed to himself for being so easily defeated. As he prepared to return to the classroom, suddenly his vision began to blur and it was difficult to stand. He slowly backed up against a wall for support and put his hand over his head, but there was something on his right eye.

He tugged at it and found it to be some kind of eye patch. Suddenly he looked up and saw that he was no longer in his school hallway but inside some sort of study. Was he dreaming again? This was bad…he must have fainted…

"Young master, are you okay?" A voice called from behind him. Ciel jerked around and saw a tall, black-haired man with crimson red eyes staring at him. "You seem dazed, young master."

"I'm fine," Ciel replied. Turning away from the butler. "What do you want?"

"I wanted you to know that Lady Elizabeth will be arriving shortly for tea, she's still quite concerned about your condition, especially as you haven't told anyone about that month." Sebastian said calmly with a hint of a grin on his pale white face.

"Well, what do you expect me to do? Prance around saying I was used a sacrificial tool before I was saved by a demon? They'd put me in the asylum. Faking amnesia is a much better solution," Ciel said in return.

"Of course, my lord," Sebastian nodded.

_Sebastian…that's familiar_… Ciel thought to himself. "Wait…Sebas-" He turned around again just to find that he was face to face with Lizzie. He blinked, trying to recollect what happened.

"Ciel…are you okay?" She asked worriedly.

"What?" Ciel paused for a moment, his brain not functioning correctly, "Oh, yeah, I'm fine. Sorry to worry you."

* * *

So have you been recalling your dreams more?" Sebastian questioned as Ciel made himself comfortable on the sofa. It was strange, but Ciel was almost getting used to this situation (although he still didn't like it one bit).

"Yes sir." Ciel replied.

"Very good, I knew the dream journal would help." Sebastian smiled. Something about this man irked Ciel more than usual today. When he had his dizzy spell at school today he had seen something different from his dreams, but in the end he could barely remember it. But…the word Sebastian…he had heard it earlier today. Had he talked to Lizzie about his therapist? He couldn't recall doing so…

"Yes sir." Ciel said.

"Do you have any details that you are _comfortable_ with sharing?" The man asked. Ciel blinked. Why did he exaggerate 'comfortable'? Did he already know that Ciel was being as brief and unspecific as he could while revealing his dreams?

This man confused Ciel.

"The fire killed my family." Ciel replied bluntly, hoping to throw Sebastian off track with a sudden direct answer. "And burnt down my house."

Sebastian didn't seem hazed by it, to Ciel's discontent. "Is that all?"

Ciel thought, should he tell him about the sacrifice? Him giving up his belief in God? His _butler_? It all sounded a bit far-fetched, and Sebastian may ask even more questions if he knew all of the details. And the man had specifically asked Ciel to share the details he was comfortable with. Ciel was comfortable with sharing that at all.

"I guess." Ciel replied, a bit less polite as he usually was.

"Very good," Sebastian said, scribbling down something on his clipboard. "And how about dizzy spells and fainting? Have those been still as constant?"

The boy thought before replying, "I had a dizzy spell today." He admitted.

_Why did I just say that? _Ciel cursed in his mind.

"Was it at school?"

"Yes sir." Ciel replied.

"Did it affect your classes?"

"No sir." Ciel replied. "I was in the hallway…"

"Do you think that it could have been caused by any type of stress?"

Ciel thought again. Alois. It might have been Alois that triggered it.

"Maybe."

"Do you want to talk about it?" Sebastian asked.

"No."

* * *

At the end of their session, Sebastian said that he was going to run some papers and trusted that Ciel knew the way out of the hospital after a long week and a half of therapy. Glad that he didn't have to be escorted like some kind of child, Ciel calmly made his way down the hallway that he had already been through many times and was prepared to enter the lobby when he heard Alois's voice, followed by Lizzie's.

"Oh, wow, that is pretty gross," Alois laughed.

"Go away." Lizzie replied angrily. "Even if Ciel can't beat you to a pulp, I sure as hell can."

"Ah? A change of character?" Alois chuckled even harder. "You sure are a gem, aren't-"

"Trancy." Ciel declared as he stepped into the lobby. Lizzie turned to him, a bit of fear in her eyes, before stepping away and hiding behind her cousin. She seemed to have lost all of her assertive atmosphere the moment Ciel entered.

"Therapy boy." Alois nodded a hello.

"I thought I told you to stay away." Ciel growled at the boy.

"You did. And yet I didn't." The blond shrugged. "Shame you're too much of a pussy to do anything about it."

"Are you _trying _to start a fight?" Ciel yelled.

"Here? In a hospital? No way. If we stepped outside then maybe I'd think about it." The way Alois stayed completely collected through this argument annoyed Ciel. It made the shorter boy seem like a stubborn kid trying to prove himself right.

"Wanna try?" Ciel threatened.

"Be my guest. Although your little cuz there may not be too happy about it." Alois smiled at Elizabeth. "Don't worry, I won't kill him."

Elizabeth shuddered, "Ciel…let's just leave…"

"No. This guys a _stalker_, Lizzie." Ciel pushed his cousin away and then stepped towards to taller boy.

"Hm?" Alois cocked his head innocently for a moment, and before Ciel could even react he slammed his fist against the black-haired boy's face. "Whoops. I slipped." He laughed.

"You bastard…" Ciel lunged at the boy and tried to land a punch on his face, but Alois grabbed Ciel's fist and twisted it so the shorter one had to fall to the ground to prevent his wrist from being broken, but as he did so Ciel kicked Alois in the knee and they both fell down.

Despite his attack, Alois was still faster than Ciel and managed to get on top of him and land another punch on his face. Ciel managed to dodge the second and knee Alois in the groin, but it didn't affect the other boy as much as Ciel hopped, although it gave him a free moment to get out of the position he was in.

The most disturbing part of this all, to Ciel at least, was that the entire time Alois wore an almost maddening grin. He liked to fight, he wanted to fight, and it didn't matter to him whether or not he was being beaten or he was the one beating the other guy up.

Ciel punched again, this time aiming at the other boy's solar plexus. Alois apparently didn't know that was a weak spot of the body and took the pain in surprise, but recovered quickly and grabbed onto Ciel's shoulder and pinned him to the ground again.

Just as Alois was throwing his fist down to punch him in the face yet again, Ciel grabbed onto Alois's right hand just as it was above his face. The larger boy was much stronger than Ciel, but the black-haired kid managed to keep the fist from hitting him; his arm quivering under the pressure.

"Ciel! Stop it!" Lizzie cried as she grabbed onto Alois and tugged at him. She only managed to move him a little when Ciel scooted back a bit and kicked the blond before getting back onto his feet. "Ciel! You shouldn't fight!"

Alois scooted up as well, wiping some blood off of his nose. "Well, you're not too bad, shrimp." He chuckled, "But I think you have it a little worse of then me."

"Go away." Lizzie said again, before stepping in front of her cousin and slapping Alois. The blond was shaken for a moment, but then just laughed.

"See you later, bitch!" He said as he walked back to the hallways.

Lizzie sighed with relief and then turned to her cousin, "Ciel…are you okay? You guys could have at least gone outside…thank god nobody was in the lobby." She looked at him, as if contemplating whether or not to do something, but then suddenly she gasped. "Oh god…your right eye. It's swollen!" She exclaimed.

Ciel reached his hand up and touched his eye, making it sting even more than it did before. "Oh...does it look like it'll be a black eye?" Ciel asked.

"I don't know…" Lizzie put her hand to her chin as she thought for a minute. "How about I go get you an eyepatch from the medical supplies room?"

"An eyepatch won't help a black eye." Ciel said boredly.

"Yeah, but then Angelina won't see it!" Lizzie explained. Ciel had an urge to facepalm. Wouldn't his aunt question _why _he was wearing the eyepatch? "You just wait right here." She said, patting him on the head as if she was treating him like some sort of puppy before preparing to run down the hallway.

"Hey! Wait!" Ciel called to her. She turned around, "What did Alois say to you?"

Lizzie didn't speak for a moment, and then looked down. "Nothing. He didn't say anything." She replied, her voice a bit darker than usual, before running off.

* * *

**A/N:**

**Lizzie...**

**Or is it Lizzy?**

**My autocorrect doesn't like Lizzy, so let's stay with Lizzie.**

**Anyhoww, Happy Kagerou Day! Be sure to stay inside, away from roads, construction sights, and childhood friend/crushes!**

**I'm still depressed that nobody really reads this story :( But I realized how crappy my writing is now that I look back on it (I wrote this around a week ago). The chapters I'm currently writing (6, 7, 8, etc.) are way better quality that this. I haven't written in forever so I guess I had to get used to it again. **

**In case you didn't know, my fav Kuro character (and favorite anime character of all time) is Alois :) So he has a lotta screen time (or page time...) **

**ANYBODY HAVE ANY FILLER IDEAS.**

**Follow/favorite if you like it, ignore if you don't. Thanks for reading this sloppy excuse of a story! (It'll get better, I promise)**


	5. Chapter 5: Nightmare

Ciel stood in front of the mirror, fiddling with his side bangs. Over his right eye was a white, medical eyepatch that seemed just a bit too big on his face. He had indeed gotten a black eye, although it wasn't as serious as he had expected, but along with that one of his blood vessels in his eyes had popped and most of his right eye was covered in a sheet of crimson. The eyepatch wasn't required, but the doctor said it would help his eye heal faster. Not to mention the bloody eye was quite disturbing so Ciel preferred to keep in sealed away.

In homeroom a couple kids questioned his patch and asked to see his eye, but the crowd faded away by lunch and he continued his day with peace. It was strange, he assumed that it'd be more difficult to get through the day without depth perception but Ciel seemed to be almost used to it. Other than tripping while going down the stairs in the morning and accidentally running into his desk rather than sitting in it in homeroom, the rest of the day went rather smoothly.

That is, until sixth period, which was History Class, taught by Professor Grelle Sutcliffe. Mr. Sutcliffe was one of those teachers that you can either hate or love (Ciel chose the side of hate). He never took classes that seriously and assigned simple homework, but at the same time he was the type of teacher that picked favorites and had biased opinions based on how much he liked the student. He was an average height man with long, straight ginger hair that went almost to his waist. He had those strange kind of spectacles that were attached to a chain of decorative small beads that rested on his shoulders that went over unnaturally green eyes.

Upon entering the room, he immediately noticed Ciel's disability.

He made himself comfortable in front of his desk, as if he was preparing to begin a lesson, then glared at the boy, "Phantomhive."

Ciel rose from his seat, "Yes sir."

"That patch of yours," The teacher spoke with a frown, "Will it interfere with your reading ability?"

"Perhaps, sir." Ciel replied.

"Hm…" Mr. Sutcliffe studied the boy with discontent on his face, "Very well, let's try it out. Phantomhive, read the second passage of page one hundred and sixty nine in your text book."

The boy gritted his teeth; the man wasn't even subtly victimizing Ciel anymore. Now he was going to humiliate him in front of the entire class. Ciel obediently flipped open his book to the passage and began to read.

"In the mid-19th century, England experienced a large amount if Irish immigrants which swelled the population of most of the major cities, including the East End of London. With the increase in population, work and housing conditions worsened and a significant economic underclass developed resulting in high amounts of crime, alcohol, and violence. Prostitution increased and there was an estimated amount of sixty two brothels in the region. With the rise of social tension along with economic difficulties, there also was a series of grotesque murders attributed to…" Ciel paused and stared at the word. It started out as a simple sense of déjà vu, but soon he found his eyesight blurring a bit. Was he going to faint?

"Jack the Ripper." A voice stabbed into his sudden dizzy spell and brought the boy back to reality. Ciel blinked and looked back to his teacher. "I apologize; I didn't know that the eyepatch would make you _completely_ illiterate."

Ciel took a moment to return to his normal state, "I'm sorry, next time I'll ignore my doctors."

A small wave of chuckles spread through the classroom, to Mr. Sutcliffe's infuriation. "Phantomhive, that's one." The teacher declared, putting his index finger up. "Another disturbance and you'll be seeing the principal."

The boy nodded, "Yes sir." Then returned to his seat.

Just as another student was chosen to finish the passage, Ciel received a slight kick from behind. He turned around to see the familiar blond boy smirking behind him. "Nice going, therapy boy," Alois whispered.

Since when was he even in this class?

Ciel wanted to reply, but he forced himself to ignore the boy in order to prevent a trip to Headmaster Spears' office.

* * *

The bell signaling the end of seventh period finally rung and Ciel heaved himself out of his seat. Apparently the track team was preparing for an important tournament so Ciel had to go to the hospital without his cousin. As he packed up his books and was prepared to leave the school gates, he noticed Alois Trancy awaiting him.

"Well, well, are you on your way for your special talk?" Alois asked.

"Fuck off," Ciel mumbled, trying to walk past the boy.

"Oh? That's not like you," Alois grabbed onto Ciel's wrist. "You seem like more of a proud type."

Ciel used his other hand to scratch at Alois's grip, allowing him to let go. "A piece of roadkill seems like the 'proud type' compared to you." He growled.

"Nice one." Alois commented. Ciel continued to walk down the sidewalk, only a few feet away from the gate. The blond continued trailing behind him. "Hey, if you aren't depressed why are you seeing a therapist anyways?"

Ciel didn't reply.

"Isn't it supposed to be polite to respond when people talk to you?"

Ciel continued forward.

"You know therapist split up spells 'the rapist'?"

No response.

"So, are you and Sebastian getting it on or-"

Ciel turned to the boy and landed his fist right on the other boy's face, catching Alois by surprise. The taller boy took a couple steps back, but quickly regained his strength and smirked, "So, you wanna go at it again?"

Alois leaped forward, his arm pulled back as if he was preparing to punch Ciel. The shorter one noticed this and tried to dodge, but just as he did so Alois's other hand extended to Ciel's right side (or rather his blind spot) and tugged forward causing the smaller boy to fall to the ground. Ciel cursed to himself, remembering that he wouldn't be able to fight as well due to his eyepatch, and lifted himself up. Just as he was prepared to attack again, a familiar voice called the two boys out.

"Phantomhive. Macken." The ginger man dashed towards the scene. "This is preposterous!" He exclaimed, "Fighting on school grounds. Come with me right now, the both of you. We're going to the headmaster's office this instant!"

Before the boys could even complain, they had found their selves face to face with the man with jet black, slicked back hair and thick spectacles, also known as Headmaster Spears.

* * *

_How did this happen…_Ciel thought to himself as he and the blond stood in front of a giant pile of books. The two were in the library, and had been ordered to put the returned books back to their proper place. Ciel explained that he had an appointment, but with Mr. Sutcliffe interfering he already knew from the beginning that there was no way he could get out of this task. So the boys were left with no idea how the library's sorting system worked and the rest of the day stuck between bookshelves.

"Nice going, therapy boy," Alois complained kicking the cart holding the returns causing a couple of larger books to fall on the ground.

"You were the one being obnoxious," Ciel growled in reply, picking up the novels knocked onto the ground and checking the author's last name to see where they should be placed. "Can we just get this done with already? I don't want to be stuck here all night."

Alois faked a pouting tone of voice, "Aww, you don't want to spend the night with _me_?"

"Shut up." The shorter boy retorted, walking over to a certain shelf and tucking in one of the books.

Ciel continued to sort out books for a few minutes, but after a while he grew agitated that the blond wasn't helping whatsoever. He returned to the entrance of the library, where Alois was neatly seated on a beanbag flipping through a Percy Jackson book.

"Oi, could you actually help?" Ciel asked.

"I would, but I don't want to," Alois replied, not looking up from the book, "The cover makes this seem so much more interesting..." He muttered to himself.

"Hey." Ciel kicked the boy's leg. "That was a rhetorical question. You have to help."

"But it's boring…" Alois chucked the book to the other side of the room and looked up to Ciel. "You're doing fine on your own." He whined.

The boy had suddenly turned from a sadistic stalker to a whiny little brat. Ciel sighed and grabbed onto Alois's wrist, lifting him off the bean bag. "You are going to put away these books." He took a couple volumes out of the bin and handed them to the blonde.

"How?"

"By last names."

"Of the books?"

Ciel sighed, "Of the authors."

"What if it doesn't say the author's name?"

"Then open to the first page, it usually has it on that." Ciel took some more books out of the basket and began walking down the aisle. Alois followed him. Every time Ciel put a book back Alois put one on the same bookshelf.

"For god's sake, can't you just fucking _work_?" Ciel snapped at the boy.

"No."

Ciel wanted to tug the blond's curls right off of his head. Why was he being so…frustrating?

"Hey, so why are you getting therapy again?" Alois asked after a while.

Ciel was tempted to ignore him again, but gave a sigh of defeat and replied unenthusiastically. "I have some kind of brain disorder that makes me faint a lot. And I have nightmares."

"Oh."

There was a long pause as Ciel reached for some more books to stack.

"What are the nightmares about?"

Ciel paused, thinking on how much information he should reveal. He could just pull the typical 'I don't remember them', but Alois had seen Ciel go to therapy for more than half a month now and that excuse would be unbelievable. "I don't want to talk about it."

"I'll tell you my tragic backstory if you do." Alois said jokingly.

"I'm fine. Thank you." Ciel replied.

There was another long pause.

"I killed my family." Alois said, causing the dark-haired boy to turn to him. The blond smirked, "Each and every one of them. Done off by me."

Ciel didn't know how to respond, so he returned to stacking books and hoped the other boy would drop the subject.

"He was disgusting. He used me and my little brother for his perverse needs." Alois continued on. The shorter boy tried to ignore him, but for some reason this sick topic had begun to pique at his interest. "He was one of those rich men whose heads got too big for their brains. It started when I was nine and my brother was barely five. I wanted to keep it a secret from him, so he wouldn't worry…so I bared with it countless times. Every time my dad got back from one of his business trips he'd relieve his stress on me…"

"I think my mom noticed after a while, but she was too much of a coward to say anything. But it was probably eating her away inside. I guess she was depressed or something…she hid it really well though…I never even knew. Then one day when I was at school, my dad got home earlier than he thought…and only Luca was home…" Alois gritted his teeth as he spoke.

_Luca? That must have been his brother_, Ciel thought to himself.

"Then...then I got back…and Luca looked like he'd just been dragged down to hell and back…he just stood there with this stupid blank expression…I didn't know at first. But then my dad didn't come for me that night, then I realized it. Right after that I knew what I had to do. I didn't even hesitate. I got a knife and crawled into his room at night…"

The blonde suddenly smiled, "I'm a psychopath, right? A crazy kid who didn't even think twice about killing his own father…"

There was a pause, then Ciel spoke up as he continued to arrange the books on the shelves, pretending to have little interest on the topic. "What happened to your little brother?"

Alois took the boy's interest by surprise, but didn't hesitate before continuing on, "That's when it gets worse. Apparently Luca heard me get up or something, and he followed me down the halls. When I was right in front of my dad, I was just about to strike, when he grabbed onto me and tugged me back…I heard him yelling at me 'Don't kill daddy! Please!' and before I knew it…"

Alois looked back down. "It was dark. I couldn't see anything when Luca tugged me down and made me fall…but I lost the knife…it just slipped out of my hands before I even noticed. And once I got up and went to help Luca stand…"

"He was already dead."

Ciel stopped his sorting for a moment, trying to imagine what the blond had felt at that moment when he turned around and saw his mistake.

"That's not just all, the knife was right in his head. Stuck right in his eye." Alois pointed to Ciel's eyepatch and chuckled, but his laughter was emotionless. "Pretty gorey, huh? Of course, I was too much of a pussy to let my parents see what happened, so I took the knife and got rid of it so the police could never find it, then just went back to bed. Nobody even found out it was me. A perfect crime, right?"

"Of course, nothing was uphill from there. My dad did the same thing as always, as if Luca had never even existed, and then my mom just got worse and worse until one day I found her dead on the bathroom floor. Took one too many pills. Of course, I saw it coming. And by the time it was just me and my dad, I took the liberty of finishing him off. It was easy, I'd already dreamt of it for years. And then after that it was just me. The company fell into my hands, but it's mainly owned by my Uncle Arnold who honestly wants nothing to do with an orphan like me. I stay at his house, although he's barely ever home. And when he is he avoids me. But, it's fine now. They're all dead."

Ciel blinked as Alois concluded the story.

"Oh, and I also forgot, my real name is Jim Macken. The company originally belonged to my mom's family, but got transferred to my dad. I liked Trancy better. Then Alois…my dad had French roots. I figured it'd just be more appropriate."

"So…you just changed your name? Like that?" Ciel questioned, looking back down to the books in his arms.

"Well, not officially or anything. That'd just be a pain in the ass. But I like Alois better." There was another long, awkward break in the conversation, before the blond suddenly began a string of long, maniacal laughter causing the dark-haired boy to back up in fear. "What? Now that you know I'm a murderer I'm just a bit scarier?"

Yes. This boy was a killer. He'd accidentally killed his own brother at the age of nine, which caused his mother to commit suicide, then stabbed his father to death in vengeance. He was a maniac. Psychopath. It was disturbing. But the most disturbing thing of all was how he continued going. There was nothing more to live for, and yet the boy continued going onward. Alone. Ciel couldn't even imagine what would be going through the mind of that boy almost every second of the day. How could he live with that guilt?

Then Ciel realized something from their conversation prior to being sent to the headmaster's. The boy had given up his pride. He didn't need to cling onto his humanity, if he even attempted to do that with all he's been through he would probably go insane. At least more than he was already.

Ciel nodded to himself, agreeing with his thoughts. Alois didn't catch the notion and continued to stand by the shorter boy.

"A fire burnt down my home." Ciel murmured.

"Hm?" Alois cocked his head with a curious expression.

"I saw my dad's burning corpse. Then men took me into a dark room and abused me. They put their mark on me. Then they were about to sacrifice me to whatever sick god that they thought was true." Suddenly Ciel stopped. He realized that even in real life, he had already given up on the ideal of heaven or God. He was raised a Catholic, and was required to go to Church at least one Sunday per a month. He never questioned it. He had actually believed in God for a while. His parents had raised him that way. But now, with his nightmares, he had already given up on his faith. "Then I always say that there isn't god. I declared that He didn't exist right in front of Him. And then suddenly I wake up. But I'm never at home. I'm somewhere I don't even know, and there's a man standing in front of me. And he tells me it's alright, that it was just a nightmare. But when I wake up I always forget exactly what he says."

"Hmm, sounds like some kind of movie," Alois commented. "Are you sure you haven't seen any TV show or something like that and it's just messing with your mind?"

"No." Ciel replied grimly. "It's real."

* * *

**A/N:**

**What time is it?**

**Poorly constructed character development time!**

**I'm uploading these too fast . I'm already catching up to the one's I'm currently writing. Thank you to everyone who reviewed. You don't understand my love for you.**

**Yuno love.**

**There are like nine chapters left of this to upload and I'm only on chapter seven writing-wise...**

**I hope I'll finish it and not get bored of the storyline and stuff. Writing this sorta made me like Lizzie's character more. I'm not sure why...**

**I wanna give Sebastian more page-time, but I'm a Cielois shipper so I don't know how to give them sexual tension (I never thought that'd be my greatest concern when writing a story). I'll try my best though :D**

**That whole "I declared that He didn't exist right in front of Him" is almost a reference to the Last Note song called Flight Instinct (feat. Gumi) which main phrase is "Swear 'I don't believe in things like God' to god." And you would almost think I'd done something original :p  
**

**Review/Follow/Favorite if you like it! Ignore if you don't! **

**Thanks for reading!**


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